Tuesday, 17 July 2007

A thief..

Honestly Dad, I did NOT drink any of your full pint of beer when you went to the toilet (hic!)

A quickie Quote


An 'email friend' did the Race for life this weekend and raised £350 for cancer research. Very well done Carol

She has a wonderful quote at the bottom of her emails. it reads:

"Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be."

What a great quote to push us all onwards

Saturday, 14 July 2007

The Master strikes again...

I have now become a Microsoft Office Specialist Master if Office 2003 (previously for Office 2000)

I have made an application to become a Microsoft Office Specialist Master Instructor for Office 2003 (again previously for 2000)


Now to start all over again fro Office 2007 - I think that may be a bigger stretch

Friday, 13 July 2007

Return of the Matrix

From Joanne:

As you are aware, we have had David Smith from the MATRIX here at Harrington for the last 2 days assessing our learndirect provision against the MATRIX Standard. I have now had the official feedback (Which brought a tear to my eye).

He thinks we are fantastic and embrace all of the MATRIX principals.

We work as a team who listen to both learners and partners and are continuously improving the quality of our services.

There were lovely quotes from the learners such as "We helped achieve some ones dream"

He gave us a few suggestions on how we could improve such as putting up quotes from learners saving that they have gained confidence since starting learning with us.

My proudest point in the feedback was when he said that he thinks we have improved so much since the last time we were MATRIXed that he suggested we go for the MATRIX excellence awards. He has only suggested this to 3 other centres over the last 6 years which 1 of them went on to win the National award. We are now considering doing this but the closure date for this year is 31st July 2007!

Well done and congratulations to all involved

Wednesday, 11 July 2007

A fun day out in Beamish

Fiona persuaded me to accompany her and her class to Beamish today. Six adults and 33 kids (All about 10 years old, give or take).

We set off at 8.15 am. About 100 miles, two and a quarter hours and one child vomiting all over Fiona later we arrived.

A lovely sunny day thankfully because we have not had many of those recently. We split into groups . I was reliably informed that my group were 'hand picked' hmmmm

We visited the town via tram to see the bank, dentist, grocers, garage. And then the kids woke up when we got to the sweetshop Unfortunately they were not manufacturing, but the kids still bought plenty of sweets toe at before lunch.

Lunch was outside the old school, and then we went inside for an arranged '1897 lesson' Wow how strict. I was terrified. The teacher just about had total control over the class, there was hardly a murmur. Though the leather whip was prominent (but not used). The most amazing thing was the way the children reacted. They were very well behaved with hand going up, no shouting out, getting on with their work. After a while the teacher snapped her fingers and said "right, back to 2007", and blow me over, didn't the kids immediately snap back to 2007 behaviour? Unbelievable

Next into the cottages where the children had to do some cleaning (beat rugs, polish, scrub floors and empty bed pans. One or two grumbled and asked if they were to be paid!

Then down the coal mine to see the working conditions, closely followed by an ice cream and gift shop

When we arrived back at school the headteacher was rather alarmed because we had one less child! Honestly. There was one less that when we set off!

Actually, we took Hayden with us, and he stayed over there with his Aunt Janet so all was well.

A good day, and I got to find out who everyone fancies!

Saturday, 7 July 2007

A bit of a do..

An ever shrinking group of CREDITS die hards gathered at Upperby CDC on Friday night to say a fond fairwell to Chris Kania who has moved on to a normal job (Snigger)

She is still involved with Adult Education however and now works '9 - 5' with ITQ's and about 200 apprentices (oo err misses)

We all had a few wines, and a bit of a buffet. A 'slush' fund was presented to Chris with some flowers, which Chris told us she would spend on herself not soft furnishings for her new flat.

Talking of new flats, at the close of the evening a small posy descended on the new flat to have a good gander about. All agreed it was a lovely place - an 'Aladdin's cave' no less. One cupboard in particular was like the tardis. We actually like the tardis in reverse. You open the door and wonder where the room as gone

Best wishes Chris and keep in touch please

Enter the Matrix

Harrington CDC are having a MATRIX audit this week to re-new their accreditation. I was telling a a friend about this, and her immediate response was that we were having a 'NEO' theme day.

I told Hayden and he kindly mocked up these photo's

Good luck to everyone involved and just be yourselves. Don't try to be anything you are not, there is no need your are all excellent as you are!

A tired story..

We all read those 'helpdesk' stories (like Val's below) with a snigger, but also a bit of disbelief. Are they really true?

Well this is:

One of our tutors recently sent me some ECDL files four double marking. She explained that one gentleman had unfortunately failed the 45 minute test because he ran out of time.

She went on to explain that he ran out of time because he had actually fallen asleep!

I had to laugh, and I enquired further only to be told it was more serious than that. They had actually thought the man had dies, and she did not want to to stop the test until all the candidates had finished !!

Tuesday, 3 July 2007

One of Val's goodies

From the WordPerfect Help Desk

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
".......Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."